Optimism

“Over the winter glaciers

I see the summer glow;

And through the wild-piled snowdrift

The warm rosebuds below.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“In the midst of winter,

I finally learned there was in me

an invincible summer.”- Albert Camus

So long, Sam

I recently read a story about a woman who after had, 7 years after her husbands death, decided to start dating again.  She found a lump in her breast at almost the same time.  It was a heartwrenching story  about overcoming grief and cherishing what you have at this very moment.  I was immediately struck with such a sudden stream of emotions it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I instantly remembered Sam.

It had been a while since I last thought Sam.  As I did, a flood of memories washed over me like a soft, warm wave.  You know, the kind that can only be felt by those remembering a wonderous childhood memory.  The kind you get thinking about a family vacation or a Christmas morning that was so magical and free that it left a physical impression in your memory.

Sam was my best friend.  We shared everything in our lives from the age of 12 to the age of 15 when, rather abruptly, we were separated by 1500 miles.  For those 3 years though, Sam was the sister I never had.  In fact, I spent more nights at her house during those years than I did at my own.  We shared everything with each other- clothes, make-up, hair stuff, secrets, laughter.  We were inseparable. 

Until we separated.

When I moved away we tried to keep in touch.  But, as it’s known to do, life quickly got in the way.  It wasn’t long before we had completely lost touch with each other.  I learned through other friends that she had moved away as well and eventually married after college.  I learned through a mutual friend that she and her husband had had a daughter. They named her Lyndsey. 

As the years went on I thought of her often but never bothered to attempt to re-connect.  Many times I picked up the telephone to find her and call her, only to think of some excuse, some rationalization of why I couldn’t or shouldn’t call- She wouldn’t even know me.  What if we have nothing to say to each other?  How will I explain why I haven’t conatced her for all these years? With each passing year it became harder and harder to even fathom calling Sam.   

Fast forward to 2005.  I get a call from another friend.  Sam is dead.  She was 29 years old and died of cancer.  My gut drop to the floor and my hands became instantly clammy.  As my heart raced all I could muster in response was “what?”  But it was true.

I asked my friend to send me a copy of the obituary notice, almost as if I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it.  But when I got it, there was no question.  There was her picture- her eyes gleaming and her smile as big as a ship.  It was exactly how I remembered her.  I realized instantly in that moment that I would never have the chance to call her, to re-connect with her.  I was suddenly and totally wracked with grief and guilt. 

The obituary mentioned Sam’s daughter and I cried even harder.  If I had been a better friend, I could have been there for Sam and her family while they went through her terrible illness.  If I had stayed in contact with her, I’d have had the chance to know her daughter.  Maybe I could have told her daughter stories about Sam that she’s never heard. 

As I enter this holiday season I am reminded of Sam.   I am reminded that life, as cliche as this saying is, is truly short.  You never know when you may or may not see the ones you love again.  You never know when your chance to reconnect will be brutally taken away.  I am reminded this season to cherish all those who I care about, to forgive those who have done me wrong, to connect with those who I’ve lost touch with and to honor my family and myself.

If this story finds you, I hope that it will remind you as well to love, honor, remember, and cherish all those you care for and if you’ve lost touch with someone important to you, now is the time to make that phone call.  If you’ve done someone a wrong, now is the time to make amends.  If you have been wronged, now is the time to forgive and love again. 

Now is the time.  Tomorrow just may never come.

So long, Sam.

A Different Christmas Poem

     The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,     I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.

     My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,

     My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

     Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

    Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

     The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

     Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

     My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

     Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

     In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

     So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

     The sound wasn’t loud, and it wasn’t too near,

     But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

     Perhaps just a cough, I didn’t quite know, Then the

     sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

     My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

     And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

     Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,

     A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

     A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

     Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

     Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

     Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

     “What are you doing?” I asked without fear,

     “Come in this moment, it’s freezing out here!

     Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,

     You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!”

     For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

     Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

     To the window that danced with a warm fire’s light

     Then he sighed and he said “Its really all right,

     I’m out here by choice. I’m here every night.”

     “It’s my duty to stand at the front of the line,

     That separates you from the darkest of times.

     No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

     I’m proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

     My Gramps died at ‘ Pearl on a day in December,”

     Then he sighed, “That’s a Christmas ‘Gram always remembers.”

     My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ‘ Nam ‘,

     And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

     I’ve not seen my own son in more than a while,

     But my wife sends me pictures, he’s sure got her smile.

     Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,

     The red, white, and blue… an American flag.

     I can live through the cold and the being alone,

     Away from my family, my house and my home.

     I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,

     I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

     I can carry the weight of killing another,

     Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

     Who stand at the front against any and all,

     To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.”

     “So go back inside,” he said, “harbor no fright,

     Your family is waiting and I’ll be all right.”

     “But isn’t there something I can do, at the least,

     “Give you money,” I asked, “or prepare you a feast?

     It seems all too little for all that you’ve done,

     For being away from your wife and your son.”

     Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

     “Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

     To fight for our rights back at home while we’re gone,

     To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

     For when we come home, either standing or dead,

     To know you remember we fought and we bled.

     Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,

     That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.”

     PLEASE, Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many
people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to
our U.S. Service men and women for our being able to celebrate these
festivities.  Let’s try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe.
Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed
themselves for us.

      LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN

     30th  Naval Construction Regiment

     OIC, Logistics Cell One

     Al Taqqadum , Iraq.

Be Yourself

Is it really that easy?  Seriously?  Have those who seem truly enlightened found a way of alway being “themselves”?  And what does *that* mean anyway?  What is it to be “yourself”?

I’m not exactly sure.  I’ve found many quotes from famous people espousing the “just be you” message, but no matter what I do, am I not being myself.

I guess the answer to that is most likely NO.  I’ve met many people, some currently in my life, who seem to be whoever or whatever it is you, or someone else in their lives, wants them to be. Whether it be to adopt someone else’s thoughts or ideas when they don’t mesh with your own, or to dye your hair blonde because it’s what someone else wants, don’t we all in some way change who we are to adapt to our environment or accomodate people in our lives. 

Is that a bad thing?  Hell if I know.

Will someone please just tell me what I should think so I can change who I am to better fit everyone else’s ideals.  Please!  I’m too confused to be myself.

 With that being said, I give you a few of my favorite quotes on being yourself…

“To be nobody but yourself-

in a world which is doing its best,

night and day,

to make you like everybody else-

means to fight the hardest battle

which any human being can fight,

and never stop fighting.”

EE Cummings

“One has just to be oneself.

That’s my basic message.

The moment you accept yourself as you are,

all burdens, all moutainous burdens,

simply disappear.

Then life is a sheer joy,

a festival of lights.”

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

“It isn’t until you come to a

spiritual understanding of who you are-

not necessarily a religious feeling,

but deep down, the spirit within-

that you can begin to take control.”

Oprah Winfrey

“If I try to be like him,

who will be like me?”

Jewish Proverb

Thanksgiving Humor

Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this,”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

Take the Thanksgiving IQ test!

http://www.lifescript.com/quiz/quiz.asp?bid=51182&cat=Holidays&trans=1&du=1&gclid=CKuXqsLR7o8CFRsTawodWDZNLw&ef_id=1350:3:c_69887733f8e9659274b0dff096e9bbc5_649472225:GE-DS0GvMUIAABjIEigAAAAO:20071121190738

Turkey Humor

Ah, the Thanksgiving turkey wishbone wish: more reliable than wells, available year round without a birthday cake and minus all that tedious blowing. Plus, everybody knows that wishes made on ordinary chicken wishbones are twisted by Satan to bedevil the wisher. Only TURKEY wishbone wishes will really come true, since they’re granted by God’s divine agent, the Magic Turkey Fairy Angel. And since wishbones only come one to a turkey, you gotta make it count, right?

If you’re tired of getting stuck with the short, non-wishing end of the wishbone stick and sick of seeing your idiot kinfolk have their stupid wishes come true while yours dry up like a raisin in the sun, here’s your guide! Weep no more, wishbone wusses, these are SURE-FIRE ways to win the Thanksgiving wishbone pull:

The Barkley Butt – Be like Mike? Sure, if you want to LOSE! Winners take a page from basketball great and non-role model Charles Barkley. On “Go,” rotate your body and use your entire fat ass to block your opponent’s access to the wishbone. Will also work with hogging the pie.
The McFee – Named after the hockey great who invented this move. Get into position and put your hand on your opponent’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. Then suddenly grab their shirt or sweater and pull it over their head. Grab the wishbone from your opponent’s confused grasp. Score!
The Heisman – John Heisman, famous coach and football innovator. If he can’t help you get that wishbone, you’re a lost cause. Imitate football’s most coveted trophy, after the Stanley Cup. On “Go,” assume the classic pose. Clutch the wishbone tightly to your chest and use your other hand to block. By shoving it in your opponent’s pasty white mush.
Grease is the Word – Get sneaky and acquire the wishbone before the pulling. Doctor ONE end of the wishbone on the sly with some turkey grease or butter. Make sure you give the greased end to your opponent. WIPE HAND THOROUGHLY, or better, grease it one handed with your non-pulling hand. Do NOT get caught greasing, or no pie for you.
The Skunk – Conceal a skunk about your person. At the critical moment, whip it out and use it to spray your opponent in the face, causing them to drop, or at least loosen their grip on the wishbone. Follow through and complete wishbone acquisition. Disadvantage: Must hide skunk on person through entire meal. Also, don’t let skunk get into the pie.
Bolt – Just grab that wishbone and run for it. Okay, it’s not pretty, not noble, but, dammit, it’s effective. Be sure to plan your getaway in advance and watch out for slow-moving, elderly relatives suddenly blocking your route. Have a backup route! Be sure not to forget to wish in all the hubbub. Disadvantage: No pie.
Pocket Full of Sand – Have some sand in your pocket. At the right moment, throw sand in eyes, grab bone as he clutches eyes and screams in pain. Try to get bone before it hits the ground, or at least on the first bounce, or wish is less likely to come true. Alternative: If no sand is easily available, sneak some pepper into your hand. Disadvantage: Some sand may get into the pie. Aim carefully.
The Crotch – For this one, it’s vital that you get your hands on the wishbone first. Once gotten, jam it right in your crotch and keep it there as you issue the challenge. Ideally, through your open fly. Make sure your opponent is NOT sexually attracted to you. At all. May also work with pie-hogging.

Special Thanks to the Van Gogh Goghs!

www.vgg.com

World’s Greatest Teacher

In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day’s work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years. ~Jacques Barzun

It was my first day of third grade and I remember it as vividly as if it happened yesterday.  It was also my first day at a new school in a new town in a new state.  I was scared shitless to say the least.

As the students lined up to go into the classroom, a young man with a pleasant smile came forward and announced ” I am your new third grade teacher.  My name is Mr. Tveit.” 

Of course we all got a good laugh out of that name.  Mr Tweety Bird was the predominate joke that rippled through the line that wonderful Fall day.  However, there was something different about this teacher.  A freshness and hopefulness that reverberated through the chatter and giggles that only 8 & 9 year olds can muster.

I had officially met the best teach I would ever know.  We were his first too.  This was the first class he ever taught.  It would be easy to dimiss him for that.  Anyone starting a new career in any field is excited and puts their best foot forward, for a while.  But not Mr. Tveit.  He loved his job and it showed.  It was 1983 and it was a time of change. 
I moved away from that town when I was 15 years old but I never forgot Mr. Tveit.   I didn’t stay in touch with him,  but wondered often how he was doing, if his current students loved and appreciated him as much as I did. 

On my graduation day from High School I recieved this: (apologies- this didn’t scan well)

Letter from Mr. Tveit

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Thank you Mr. Tveit for being that positive influence in my life. I may not have realized it at the time, but 20 years later- I GET IT. I really, truly do. Without you, I may not have known passion and amibition. I may not have known that, at the pinnacle of my learning years, life is wonderous and full of ponential. You, Mr. Tveit, taught me that life is MY oyster and the pearl is ME. Thank you!

Reach out and hug a Vet

I grew up knowing that my dad was a Vietnam Vet.  I knew the “story” because my mom had told it to me as if it were a written hymn meant to be repeated verbatim: 

“Your father was an x-ray tech in the war.  He was hurt in a bombing that killed his friend and caused your father a lot of injury.”  The end. 

That is the extent of what I know about my dad’s time in Vietnam.   But I and my brothers were fully aware of the effect that the war had on my dad.  There were the visible, physical scars, and there were the internal, mental scars as well.   As a child, I never understood why my dad had a loaded gun in every room when my friend’s dads didn’t.  Wasn’t it normal for your dad to start training you in self defense when you’re 7 years old?

Don’t get me wrong.  I had a great childhood filled with love and I adore my father.  But the war had it’s effects on him and ultimately the rest of us as well. I read recently of how 25% of all homeless are war veterans and it got me wondering just how close my dad could have come to being alone on the street.  My dad was blessed.  He adjusted to his experience in Vietnam and to his injury.  He adjusted to his return to civilian life and being back in the “real” world.  Unfortunately though, many do not. 

This weekend I honor my dad and all those who have fought or served this country on my behalf.   No matter what your position on war is, Veteran’s Day is about cherishing and honoring all those who have, without question, served of this fine country and have done so with pride.

I know that when I look at the shrapnel scars scattered over my dad’s back that he served this country bravely and nearly died for it.  He lost a good friend for it.   As so many have….

I will never forget that.

I Can’t Believe I Ate the WHOLE Thing!

I have to admit, I’ve eaten more fast food in the past year than in my entire life. I can count on my hands the number of times I’ve eaten at McDonald’s or Burger King or Taco Bell. In fact when I was 17 I got my first job ever at a Burger King. I quit 3 hours after my shift started!

They put my out on the cash register the minute I started and basically told me to “figure it out.” Not that it was too tough– If you’ve ever worked fast food you know that they make the cash registers with pictures so you don’t even need to know how to read to work there. The problem for me was, I had no idea what Burger King served! I had no idea what a BK Broiler was (this experience was made even better since you had to call out over the microphone/PA system what the order was so that everyone knew my ignorance, not just my fellow employees.) Needless to say, I (luckily) was not destined for the Fast Food career path!

Recently though, I’ve come to utilize the convenience of fast food quite abit. I absolutely LOVE to cook, and I’m darn good at if I don’t say so myself. But I can’t seem to get excited about cooking for one. Hence, in comes Burger King.

I work alot of hours, typically 50- 60 a week. Last night as I drove by the local BK at 7:45pm I thought “I’ll just run through the good ol’ BK drive-thru and pick up some dinner.” As I drove away from the drive-thru window with my purchase, I opened the bag and started munching on the french fries. What I should say is “crunch” not munch. The fries, though very hot, were almost as crisp as a potatoe chip.

When I got home, I took out my Whopper Jr and unwrapped it. It certainly did not look anything like the big, juicy cheese burger they pictured on the outdoor menu. If fact it was about 1/2 a centimeter tall on one side and and an inch and a half on the other. When I removed the top bun, I saw that all the condiments were stacked very neatly on one side of the cheese burger. Now, I realize that the title “Fast Food” means that they only have a short time to prepare the food before their customers begin to complain, but how much extra time can it take to spread the condiments out over the tiny burger patty? Really?

I don’t recommend pulling this concoction of sub-standard meat, bread, and cheese-product apart to look inside. When I did, the flimsy bread of the bun disintergrated in my hand. By the time I put it back together it resembled something like Frankenstein’s Monster. The meat just slid out the side of the bun and the condiments that I had tried so diligently to spread out evenly on the burger patty, squirted out the back.

As I was eating this “thing” I thought, how could they serve this garbage and stay in business? But I quickly reminded myself that I, like so many others now a days, am just way too busy to even think about cooking, let alone do it. So the convenience factor weighed in heavily on my decision to go to BK. And furthermore, it did only cost me $4.92 for a Whopper Jr, large fry, and a large soda. Pretty cheap, even for crap.

So until you can go to say, PF Chang’s and get dinner for $4.92 in less than 5 minutes in a drive-thru, I will probably go to Burger King again. Or McDonalds or Wendy’s; maybe even Taco Bell.

Oh, and yes, I ate the WHOLE thing.

“Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain!”

REHASH

~Haven’t heard much more about this or from Stephen Hawking for that matter.  Wonder if he’ll ever actually make it to space or if it will be just his remains…..Is Virgin Galastic still in the works? Seems to be, but I just don’t see them making the 2008 deadline.  And if they don’t- how much longer will Stephen Hawking even be around?

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Yesterday I read an article about Stephen Hawking’s planned space flight on Richard Branson’s Virgin Galastic in 2009. It reminded me of his purported conversation with Pope John Paul II regarding creation and the beginning of time. I find Stephen Hawking fascinating and if you haven’t had the opportunity yet, I highly recommend reading “A Brief History of Time.” His life story is pretty interesting as well.
Considering he should have died long ago, I wonder if he’ll actually make it to the 2009 launch date??
Stephen Hawking says pope told him not to study beginning of universe
Posted 6/15/2006 9:17 AM ET HONG KONG (AP) — World-renowned astrophysicist Stephen Hawking said Thursday that the late Pope John Paul II once told scientists they should not study the beginning of the universe because it was the work of God. Hawking, author of the best-seller A Brief History of Time, said John Paul made the comments at a cosmology conference at the Vatican. He did not say when the meeting was held. Hawking quoted the pope as saying, “It’s OK to study the universe and where it began. But we should not inquire into the beginning itself because that was the moment of creation and the work of God.” The scientist then joked that he was glad John Paul did not realize that he had presented a paper at the conference suggesting how the universe began. “I didn’t fancy the thought of being handed over to the Inquisition like Galileo,” Hawking said during a sold-out audience at Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. The church condemned Galileo in the 17th century for supporting Nicholas Copernicus’ discovery that the Earth revolved around the sun. Church teaching at the time placed Earth at the center of the universe. But in 1992, Pope John Paul II issued a declaration saying the church’s denunciation of Galileo was an error resulting from “tragic mutual incomprehension.” Hawking is one of the best-known theoretical physicists of his generation. He has done groundbreaking research on black holes and the origins of the universe, and he proposes that space and time have no beginning and no end. During a question-and-answer session, Hawking was asked where constants like gravity come from and whether gravity can distort light. But there were several humorous moments. The wheelchair-bound Hawking, who suffers from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, communicates with an electronic speech synthesizer. Hawking was asked why his computerized voice has an American accent. “The voice I use is a very old hardware speech synthesizer made in 1986,” he said. “I keep it because I have not heard a voice I like better and because I have identified with it.” He said he once considered using a machine that gave him a French accent, but he did not because his wife would divorce him. But Hawking said he is shopping for a new system because his current hardware is large and fragile, using components that are no longer made. “I have been trying to get a software version, but it seems very difficult,” he said. He urged people with physical disabilities not to give up on their ambitions. “You can’t afford to be disabled in spirit as well as physically,” he said. “People won’t have time for you.” Hawking ended his lecture saying, “We are getting closer to answering the age-old questions: Why are we here? Where did we come from?” Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.